It's time to make some better resolutions. You've probably read so many articles already on how to make better goals and keep your resolutions. Break them down into smaller chunks! Write them down! Share them with others for accountability! And all of those are very helpful things to do. The problem is, we set our intentions on the planning and the getting started and our goals still fall through. It's because we aren't preparing for the part of our resolutions that will ultimately mean sink or swim.
You're going to do all of the right prep work for your new goal. You're going to set reminders on your phone to go off when you need to remember your new action. And it's going to work for a while, which is great! But you need to think about the part that is going to matter the most.
The key moment is the moment your reminder goes off and your internal response is "eh..."
You know that moment. The one where you are presented with what you should do and you don't feel momentum, you feel resistance. The first moment you think maybe you'll skip it today. The first moment you start to consider your goal isn't actually as important as you thought it was.We come to this part of our goals so utterly unprepared.
Since we haven't focused on this part, since we haven't thought about that feeling of resistance in our gut, it hits us like a brick wall and our resolve disappears. Our inertia sinks in and we go back to where we were before. But these are the moments that matter, the make-or-break for our goals.
This is the part you have to plan for the most.
Think about that feeling. Imagine those moments you will NOT be motivated, NOT feel inspired, and that desire to stay exactly where you are. Imagine that feeling in your gut and in your limbs. Now imagine yourself pushing through it. This moment is the true moment for resolution testing, and this is the true moment for change. All of your planning to get started was fantastic, but when you think about how you will get past your own moment of resistance, you are thinking about the actual core of your growth. What will you need to do this work, when it happens to you?
Now, of course, there will be life events that take precedence to some of our goals. And, sometimes, the things we think we want aren't relevant throughout the passage of time. Prioritizing, reconsidering, and adapting through life is important. But, for the things that are important and stay important, focus early on the moments that you'll want to quit and you'll be better prepared for when you get there. Whether you need some help planning, focusing, or even figuring out the goals important to you, I'm here to help. Let's schedule a time to talk.
Stephanie Bloodworth, LMFT-A