I found a guide on the internet on how to succeed in absolutely anything when I was a teenager. The guide prompted me through identifying, setting, and planning out goals that would fulfill me as an individual. I don't remember what I searched for to find it or why I was looking. I do remember that the website was very plain. There weren't any pictures. The author said they had focused their money on making sure they came up high in the search results instead of on the cosmetics. While I can't say I always followed the advice to the letter, it was all very good advice that has stuck around in my brain since then. That website isn't around anymore, or at least I can't find it anymore. But I want to share the information with you. If you're ready and able, get paper and a pencil or pen. Writing this stuff down makes a difference and is a solid way of making the ideas be "real." If you can't write but can type, do that. If you can't do that but can talk to someone or record your ideas, do that!
1. How to figure out what you should do
What was the last thing you did that resulted in you receiving respect? Write that down. Then write down "The more I (that action), the more I make." That's a money statement, initially, but I also think about the other benefits we "make" for ourselves by doing the things that earn respect.
2. How to plan your goal
Simply put: ask the people who have done it. I remember a statement on that first website along the lines of "you don't have a valid opinion about anything until you've done it." The words might come off harshly, but I think about it in a practical way. We can all muse about how things might theoretically or hypothetically work. That's fine. But when we're focused on getting things done, a lot of valuable information comes from the people who have done it. Figure out who those people are and send them a message. Let them know you admire their work and would love to buy them a coffee and pick their brain for a few minutes. The worst that can happen is that they say no, or that they ignore your message. Send the message and keep moving!
What if you want to do something brand new? Something that's never been done? That's great! Ask the people closest to where you want to go and see what you can learn.
3. How to accomplish that goal
Big changes happen in small pieces. Goals are the accumulation of many small moments put together. If you work on your goal for just 15 minutes a day, that's more than 90 hours of work and practice clocked each year. Resolve to do 3 things a day that bring you closer to your goal, including direct skill practice and talking to a person who can help.
To focus your daily efforts, break down your goal into what needs to be accomplished next year, next season, next month, next week, tomorrow. Write or record this down! Revisit this and keep moving, keep working, every chance you get.
There it all is. Throughout many life changes, I have kept my ultimate goals and worked towards them. Sometimes I have worked more diligently than others. Overall, though, I've remembered these basic principles. Having a goal can bring you a great sense of focus and purpose no matter what life throws your way. Thank you to the original author, wherever and whoever they are. I hope this can help you a little bit too! Let me know if you'd like to schedule with me and talk through this.
Stephanie Bloodworth, LMFT-A