Our minds can be a personal prison sometimes, locking us in and berating us for everything we “should” or “could” have done differently but didn’t. And sometimes it locks us in and plays looping video of events we might not have had control over, but that we can’t help but be stuck on. Other times, our minds weigh us down with worries about how we’ll handle an upcoming situation. It’s enough to make anyone want to scream!
As troublesome as it can be, our brains are hardwired to help us survive and, through harsh experiences or unhelpful habits, we can get stuck on reliving, over-analyzing, and agonizing over sealed past and potential futures. This makes it easier to learn from mistakes but not so easy to live life in an enjoyable way. When it comes to future events, this may be an opportunity to take reasonable actions in preparation, but at a certain point the worry goes nowhere.
How much concern, energy, and effort will it take before you can change something that already happened?
It’s not what you wanted. It’s not what you planned for. It may very well be a life-changer. And the sooner you accept that it happened, the sooner you can decide what you do next.
Acceptance is not the same as approval. We don’t have to like things that have happened, or even parts of ourselves, to acknowledge that they exist. The sooner we do, the sooner we can make the changes that we want or figure out our new direction after a “plot twist” of life. Give yourself the gift of freedom! All you have is forward. And if this is something you need help with, we can schedule some time to talk.
Stephanie Bloodworth, LMFT-A
Cross posted at Flourish Mental Health