Moving forward when you feel stuck can feel overwhelming. Sometimes it doesn’t matter if you’ve figured out specific goals and broken them into steps, or if you just have a vague idea of what isn’t working for you. You still might not have the mental or physical energy to take the next steps to feeling and doing better. Depression and anxiety, for example, can contribute to feeling stuck regardless.

I’ve felt this challenge myself, and I work with people who have had this experience. Even the most focused and ambitious folks can feel overwhelmed and stuck, or even daunted by the idea of where they want to be and how to get there. Others may not be in a good space yet to think positively enough to even identify goals. Regardless of where people are on this range, there is often one thing we have in common when we feel stuck:

There are probably some small steps we could reasonably take now, but we don’t because they feel too insignificant.

As an analogy (unless you’re a rock climber!), looking at the peak of a mountain you want to climb to the top of can feel overwhelming when you’re still at the bottom. Taking a single step is nothing compared to the task at hand. The thing is: that single step isn’t nothing. This might feel cliché, but it’s true: big goals are made up of all the small things we do along the way. Sometimes that next step is something that feels pointless. It can still add to your momentum.

I could give a whole list of examples of small, pointless-feeling steps; but what that list looks like for someone can be very different depending on who they are, what they’re struggling with, and how they’re feeling in the moment. It’s super subjective. For the sake of an example, however: if you’re overwhelmed with showering and other hygiene, and you want to be able to do so much more with your day, just putting on deodorant might feel pointless in the big picture. Functioning the way you want in the world, having a healthy social group, and feeling great about yourself feel so out of reach, how is just putting on deodorant going to help? So maybe you don’t do it.

The role of a therapist isn’t to give advice per se, but I do have thoughts I share about this situation: do the “insignificant” things you’re dismissing as unimportant. Sometimes those tiny things are enough to help us get to the next tiny things, and the next, and the next; and then suddenly we look back and see we’ve actually come a very far way, just in a less dramatic fashion than we’d imagined. And hey, maybe doing those tiny things actually don’t get you anywhere and you stay stuck. At least you can say you’ve done what you can. Cross off this small task and get the pressure of it off of you. Sometimes that’s enough.

You’re worth the tiny things and the big things alike.

You’re human, and humans take energy and effort and time and attention. That’s how it’s supposed to be. It can be hard to treat ourselves as worth it, of course, when we’ve been through extremely invalidating experiences. Having good support, like a therapist you click well with, can help empower you through the process. If you think we might be a good match and want to work with me, reach out and let me know! In the meantime, try doing some of those “pointless” things to get them off your list if nothing else.

I hope your week brings you at least a little more peace!

Dr. Stephanie Bloodworth, PsyD, LMFT-S