You feel disoriented.
There's an emptiness. There's a flood of pain. How does the rest of the world rush on while yours has stopped? Your experience has meant so much. This is overwhelming.
You've been through an inferno. You might still be in one. You can't tell up from down. You question who you are and whether you're crazy or sane. Was it one event that happened, with a clear before and after, or is this how this always was?
There's this sense of loss, whether it's literal or metaphorical for you.
You need to sort through your narrative, heal, and decide what comes next.